Retarded criminals bungle iPhone burglary

Everyone wants an iPhone, right? No? Well, it’s a a hot-selling handset for sure - a tempting mark for wannabe crooks looking to turn a quick buck. Following on that other idiotic criminal venture that was caught on tape (okay, it’s wasn’t literally a tape, but rather a digital recording), two retarded New York truck drivers hatched a plan to steal the 300 iPhones, destined for Hong Kong, that were sitting in the rear of the delivery truck.

Apparently, the bumbling duo swiped the iPhone-shipment and replaced them with reams of paper. They offloaded the, uh, load, at Kennedy Airport, quit their jobs, and kicked off plans to move to Florida. Emmanuel Etienne, 20, of 761 Grand Terrace, and Jarred E. Thomas, 22, of 520 Woodland Estates Dr. (it’s great that we know their addresses, isn’t it?), were in the midst of buying up everything a pair of ghetto criminals could want - diamond stud Yankees earrings, Mark Ecko watches, Nike high-top sneakers, and, wait for it, a pair of matching Maroon-colored cars (an Acura and a Volkswagon) - when they got nabbed by police. The two men were charged with second-degree larceny.

The crooks may have gotten away with their scheme if Cathay Pacific airline workers didn’t notice the shady-looking wrapping on the shipment of boxes. Etienne and Thomas, in their rush to buy matching Maroon-colored cars, did a crap job of re-shrink-wrapping the boxes. The questionable wrapping immediately drew the suspicion of Cathay Pacific workers, who found the reams of paper in place of iPhones.

We’re not condoning illicit trade-practices, but come on. If you’re going to steal, then do it right. Dimwits…

[Via: Newsday]